The Journey

I have been encouraged to keep a blog. Apparently it will be good for my bipolar disorder. I’m not entirely sure it will be as the previous blog started my unravelling but here we are again. I’m not sure what I am meant to say in a blog and hell, I’m not the most literate person out there but I will try. I started this blog with trepidation and let’s hope that by the end, I will be looking forward with joy.

I know most bloggers do a little spiel on them but I’m not particularly interesting nor do I have particularly scintillating stories so I will tell you about what makes me, me.

I am a youngest of a big family, and I am Polish but live in Britain for the majority of the year. I’m also a surprise, not expected to be born, or for my father anyways. I’m older than I let on, although most of my experience is from when I  was still a child. I grew up to fast, I was a latch key kid. It is what happens when you’re parents are always working. I grew up to fast as I am sick. I have rapid cycling bipolar II. This was only diagnosed when I was 16 but my parents didn’t believe it or rather didn’t want to, it’s hard to say really. When I was 13 I gave up with my life, depression had hit and I was receiving none of the help that I needed, it caused me to do many things that I now look back on and realise how important it is for me to get the correct treatment. I have a body dysmorphic disorder to add on top as well as anxiety which admittedly are all mostly triggered because of my BPD. My mood will vary in these blog posts which you will notice.

I am a ballet dancer and have been since I was 4. It was and always will be my way of release, to escape the world inside my head. I am hypermobile so have continued to retain my flexibility. I am  5ft2 and am considered out of proportion to be a professional ballet dancers although this has never stopped me in achieving my dream. I train for 8 hours day, if not more and suffer through it all to make sure that when or if I do graduate I will be able to make a good living out of it.

I think that is all I can come up with as the was very impromptu. thank you for everything. Faith, Peace, love and Hope.

 

TTFN

Tosia Altman