Bipolar: Everyday Struggles

  1. The stigma. When I applied for jobs, I obviously have to have it as an illness, when I was first looking for jobs they would ask me in an interview about excessively and this in it’s self, could be very triggering.
  2. Taking medication at the right time and getting it through security at an airport. With my job,  we do a lot of performing abroad or at the other side of the country and the company will pay for our flights, however with this spasmodic schedule, often I wont find time to take my meds and then It means my body goes out of sync and my illness gets heavily exaggerated. Flights, often my meds will be in hand luggage and I will be asked to either take them out or asked why there is such big doses. I then have to explain that I take 17 tablets a day, with a portion going towards my IBS and stress as well.
  3. Being triggered from a T.V show. I’m currently watching “It’s Okay. That’s Love” which is a K-Drama. However this is also about mental illness and personally I find this is becoming quite triggering and is making me obsess slightly over my illness.
  4. People’s paranoia. People often forget that Bipolar can also just have a bad day, instead of it being always depression. I find that if I am a little hormonal on my period everyone get’s very paranoid and tell me to maybe take “Anti-Depressants” or ask me if “There is anything they can do?”, calm down people! It is only a bad day and by the next day I will be fine!
  5. Not sure if you are maniac or just really happy. This sounds ridiculous but sometimes when I am having a really good day, I start to wonder if maybe I’m over happy and perhaps I am going into a hypomanic episode.
  6. Going out for the day when you are depressed. This can be a very hard battle for me, an example: Today. So as it is a Saturday, I had the day off and the past week I have been quite depressed and stressed and I was hoping to be able to spend the day with my husband just lounging. I am pretty medicated as well, which makes me very sleepy, to try to prevent my depression sinking deeper. However my family wanted to go out for lunch which is always hard, especially as it was immediate family and no anchor (i.e Husband) so I was struggling. Once we go to lunchtime everyone kept asking me “Why was I frowning? Smile, try to be happy!” It just made it worse.

 

TTFN

Tosia Altman

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