My Grandparents died yesterday early morning and I didn’t go into work that day. I tried to this morning but arrived at reception and started crying, straight of the bat. The receptionist comforted me and booked me a room, to see if I could get myself together again but I couldn’t, I was too stressed, it was too overwhelming and altogether too raw.
The main problem was, that I hadn’t been feeling like I could since I got up this morning but as I was at my parents house, staying since yesterday and today my mother was pushing me to go to work, thinking it would be better for me if I kept myself busy instead of dwelling on it as that is what works for her. I tried that and I discovered that it doesn’t work for me.
The most important thing to remember is that everyone has a different coping mechanism and has a different closeness to different people. I mourn best if I can get my own space, where I can mull things over, cry my little cry away from people and then rebuild myself, get myself up and adjust. It takes time.
Some people can just work through it, other people perfer to be alone and some people like to be surrounded by there family and friends. It’s okay to need time off, its okay to need to mourn and not stress over work. I like to get it out in a diary or on this blog. I like to say my own thoughts with hope of seeing that someone relates!
I think taking time off for compassionate is it actually very important for self healing, for processing grief and getting your mental strenth back. Dont feel weak just because you aren’t strong enough to go into a very stressful atmosphere where, lets be honest, they are more interested in the details of it all than the feelings it produces. Sometimes the last thing you want to do is talk about your grief, you want to just keep going as though there is nothing wrong. You don’t want to be asked by 30 people, who don’t really cared, how you are getting on.
British people don’t talk about pain and sorrow. It’s okay to need time to recover. Do what you think you akone can cope with. We all have different coping mechanisms.